Below are some of the myths I hear about adoption. My answers come from working many years in my field and talking with adoptive parents, birth parents, and my peers in adoption.
Myth: Birthmothers who plan an adoption are uncaring and are taking the easy way out.
Fact: There is no easy way out of an unplanned pregnancy and women who choose adoption have done so after taking the time to consider their options and the future of their unborn child. Adoption is a loving, courageous choice, which shows she is taking the time and responsibility to be a parent. Birthmothers are selflessly placing the future of the children ahead of their own desires. Knowing this can help may birthmothers know they are providing a good and positive life for their child.
Myth: Birthmothers never recover from the emotional pain of placing a child for adoption
Fact: Each birthmother process her adoption experience in a different way. All birthmothers go through a grieving process and this is a healthy way in dealing with your adoption experience. Many of our birthmothers have told us it helps them to know they have done everything they could to provide the best life for their child. And it helps to know they have helped another family complete their dream of becoming parents.
Myth: Adoptive parents cannot love a child as much as biological parents can
Fact: Love is not based on biology. We learn to love the people we want to spend our lives with and the people we choose to surround us. The love of a parent comes from preparing for a child and selflessly nurturing and caring for that child.
Myth: Telling a child they are adopted should wait until they are old enough to understand
Fact: Teaching a child about the special way they came into your life should begin at birth. There are many books and resources out there can help you share with your child their adoption story. If you wait to share this with your child, it can be shocking and cause them to feel unnecessary guilt.
Myth: Adopted children are more likely to be troubled than birth children
Fact: Research shows that adoptees are as well-adjusted as their non-adopted peers. There is virtually no difference in psychological function between them. (This myth and fact by adoptivefamilies.com)